Carrying Albert Home: The Somewhat True Story of a Man, His Wife, and Her Alligator

William Morrow

Carrying Albert Home:  The Somewhat True Story of a Man, His Wife, and Her Alligator
Homer Hickam
2015

The Summary
"Elsie Lavender and Homer Hickam Sr.- the future parents of Homer Hickam Jr. - were high school classmates in the West Virginia coalfields, graduating just as the Great Depression began.  When Homer asked for her hand, Elsie instead headed to Orlando, where she sparked with a dancing actor named Buddy Ebsen (yes, that Buddy Ebsen).  But when Buddy headed for New York, Elsie's dreams of a life with him were crushed and eventually she found herself back in the coalfields, married to Homer.

"Unfulfilled as a miner's wife, Elsie was reminded of her carefree days in Florida every day because of Buddy's unusual wedding gift:  an alligator named Albert who lived in the only bathroom in their little house.  Eventually, Homer gave Elsie an ultimatum:  'Me or the alligator!'  After giving it some thought, Elsie concluded there was only one thing to do - carry Albert home.

"Carrying Albert Home tells the sweet, funny, and sometimes heartbreaking tale of a young couple and their special pet on a crazy 1,000-mile journey.  Told with the warmth and down-home charm that made Rocket Boys a beloved bestseller, Homer Hickam's rollicking novel is truly a testament to that strange and marvelous emotion we call love."

The Good
I enjoyed Carrying Albert Home.  It's a sweet, quirky story:  two people making an oddball journey through the south to return an incredibly expressive alligator to his natural habitat - I mean, it can't get any stranger than that.  Well, it can (and does, on occasion) as Elsie and Homer Senior stumble across bank robbers, bootleggers, rioters, smugglers, serial killers, and all manner of sundry creatures on their journey south.

And speaking of alligators, I loved Albert.  He is, I think, the best alligator I've ever read about in literature - then again, he may be the only alligator I've read about.  Nevertheless, I liked him (and the rooster) and their wild journey from West Virginia to Florida.  Their story, while highly unusual, is simultaneously hilarious and fun; more importantly, it's never boring.

Hickam has a storyteller's prose, weaving a tangled story of suspense and adventure and, ultimately, love.  Moreover, he manages to create wonderful characters that are sure to entertain.  Such as the strange, villainous duo of robbers Homer first encounters, or the bootlegger with whom Elsie spars.  It's a strange gathering of people and animals that left me laughing and shaking my head for the absurdity.

As I was reading, I learned to like Elsie.  Headstrong, defiant, inventive and, yes, courageous in her own way, Elsie was a fascinating female character; however, I have to say, I adore Homer (senior, of course).  Although Homer is a simple man - a coal miner by trade whose only aspirations are a steady job and a happy family - he is a smart man who is loyal to a fault and loves Elsie with all his heart, even if he can't always express it.

A lesser man wouldn't have bothered with a trip to Florida; a lesser man would never have faced bank robbers, rioters (with dynamite), bootleggers, poetry-writing serial killers, smugglers, or hurricanes; a lesser man wouldn't have fought so hard for a woman who wasn't sure of her feelings.  It's a sweet, strange love story that made me wonder from chapter-to-chapter, but I enjoyed it overall.

The Bad
Carrying Albert Home is a strange, strange book.  I don't know if the author intentionally made certain parts of his novel vague, or if he was attempting to give depth and symbolism to Albert's journey (like the rooster, who must play a much larger part than we know, but we never find out), or if he was doing something else entirely.

Either way, I often found myself thinking Elsie and Homer's journey to Florida was much bigger than either of them knew.

The Ugly
Homer and Elsie confront bank robbers, violent rioters in the midst of a strike, dangerous bootleggers, smugglers, serial killers, movie directors, and a number of other dangerous things that each had the potential to kill them.  Perhaps the ones who made my stomach turn most were Carlos and lovely Souffle.

Yes, that is really her name.  And, yes, they are about as strange as you can imagine.

But don't let their names deceive you.  You see, they're a couple of spiders who ensnare and eventually kill lost and wayward men.  Carlos is a poet; Souffle is his mistress - and they're both a special kind of crazy that's hard to describe.  Their method is simple, as Carlos elaborates to Homer:  "Though their souls were artless, Souffle gave them a moment of poetic joy and then I made their deaths perfect."

Souffle seduces them; Carlos kills them.  End of story.

It feels like a story from the Odyssey with Souffle akin to Circe - and, well, Carlos is simply a maniac with a pitch fork and penchant to create horrible poetry.  It's incredibly strange and, admittedly, a little horrifying.