Rejected Princesses: Tales of History's Boldest Heroines, Hellions, and Heretics

Dey St.

Rejected Princesses:  Tales of History's Boldest Heroines, Hellions, and Heretics
Jason Porath
2016

The Summary
"Well-behaved women seldom make history...and these women are far from well behaved.

"Let's face it:  the list of historical women we learn about in school is lacking.  It's safe, it's censored, it's short.  And even when we learn about a true legend--say, Harriet Tubman--we get half the story (and it's usually not the half about her as a plantation-torching Union spy-master).  This is just the list of women we know about.  What of the women we don't?

"In place of complex, real-life heroines, we get sparkly, doe-eyed animated damsels who dominate children's minds everywhere.

"Rejected Princesses is here to provide an alternative to all that.

"In this fully illustrated, deeply researched, and totally entertaining collection, Jason Porath offers 100 women too uncompromising, too untoward, or too uncomfortable to fit the modern princess mold.  Gathering together a diverse set of some famous, some infamous, some forgotten, and some virtually unknown figures from history and myth, from all over the globe, this book presents the female role models we never knew we needed.  Yes, there are a few princesses, but there are also pirates, spies, journalists, activists, concubines, empresses, ninjas, pilots, samurais, mathematicians, sword-slingers, and war-lords too.

"These women were rebels and rulers, pioneers in their fields, and fighters for their causes (and sometimes for themselves).  In a time when women are still pushing for equal pay and equal opportunity, shouldn't we be putting brave women like Sybil Luddington, Hatshepshut, Nzinga Mbande, Josephine Baker, Khutulun, Rani Lakshimbai, Harriet Tubman, Emmeline Parkhurst, and Joan of Arc on equal footing with Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty?

"Women have always played a key, kick-ass role in revolutionizing our world.  The girls of today are the latest links in a long chain of geniuses, warriors, and fearless women.  It is the birthright of every woman to have a connection to that history.  Empowering, uproarious, and anything but traditional, Rejected Princesses seeks to provide just that."

The Good
I loved this book.

Yes, loved.

If it's not already apparent, I'm a bit of a history nerd and I love learning about quirky, unconventional history and feisty females who made their mark on history (see:  Bad Girls), so Rejected Princesses was the best of both worlds for me.

I imagine that many of the women featured in this book were too rebellious, too dangerous and, sometimes, too deadly to make it into high school textbooks; in fact, many of the women--whether resigned to the darkest parts of history or lingering at the edges of myth--were a pleasant surprise.  That is, I'd never read about them and I loved learning about them and the impact they made on history.

Here are some of my favorites:

• Khutulun
• Noor Inayat Khan
• Julie d'Aubigny
• Annie Jump Cannon
• Iara
• Mariya Oktyabrskaya
• Olga of Kiev
• Ching Shih
• Sybil Luddington
• Alfhild
• Mary Bowser
• Nanny of the Maroons
• Tomo Gozen
• Marjana

All of these women were incredible.  I mean, on this list alone you have fighters and warriors, spies and astronomers, pirates and Vikings, rebels and freedom fighters.  They're incredible.  Granted, I know some of them didn't exist (Marjana is a literary character, whereas Iara and, I think, Alfhild are myths and/or legends), but it was wonderful getting a glimpse into these individual cultures and their perceptions of women--and how these women flaunted conventions.

It was great.

And, of course, I can't forget the Night Witches from my list.  You can hear about me rhapsodize about the Night Witches here, so I won't go into much detail about them, except to say that they are without a doubt the most incredible pilots of World War II (I'm not joking) and, perhaps, some of the most incredible women about which I've had the pleasure to learn.

Overall, Rejected Princesses is a wonderful book.  Full of humor, colorful art, historical facts and, of course, incredible women, it's a great resource for those who wish to dabble in history--and it will show you just what it means to fight like a girl.

The Bad
No complaints.

I seriously want a copy for myself.

The Ugly
History is not always pretty--and, let's be honest here, it hasn't always been kind to women.  Some were burned at the stake because they were different; others were buried alive or faced a firing squad; some were even assassinated for their own violent reactions to society.  Not all these ladies had the luxury to happily retire.

Making Waves

Sourcebooks Casablanca

Making Waves
Tawna Fenske
2011

The Summary
"She always wanted to belong...just not to a dysfunctional pirate crew.

"Juli has trouble fitting in, though she'd prefer to keep the reasons to herself.  But when she mistakenly stows away on a ship of misfit corporate castoffs, her own secrets become the least of her concerns.

"He knows plotting a diamond heist may be considered unusual behavior...

"But Alex isn't feeling very normal when his unscrupulous boss kicks him to the curb.  Meeting Juli doesn't do much to restore normalcy to Alex's life either, but it sure is exhilirating!

"As Alex and Juli bare their secrets--and a whole lot more--they find that while normal is nice, weird can be wonderful."

The Good
I picked Making Waves up on a whim.  I'd liked some of Tawna Fenske's other work (e.g. Frisky Business, and Now That It's You), so I thought I might give this novel a try.  And I'm so glad I did, because Making Waves is weird and almost surreal--and it's absolutely hilarious.  I finished it within a day, because I couldn't stop myself.

I loved the humor and, honestly, the sheer oddity of it, plus I just loved the characters.  A few are just plain awkward, laughably obtuse when it comes to love, and poor Juli is smack dab in the center of this nautical comedy of errors.  They're just so silly, so lovable, and I couldn't help rooting for them as they made their way through the Caribbean on a wild and wacky adventure on the open seas.

Honestly, I probably laughed more than I should have, mostly over a bit of dialogue in the early chapters of the book:

"She already thinks we're cartographers," Alex said.  "Let's just stick with that." 

Phyllis frowned.  "Cartographers?  An hour ago, Cody was trying to figure out what NESW spelled on the compass." 

"Cookie," he insisted. 

"And just last week, Jake was reading the map upside down." 

"I was drunk, okay, Phyllis?" Jake retorted.  "Pirates enjoy their rum from time to time."

It is probably the best argument ever.

Overall, Making Waves was a wonderful, comedic romance.  Like top 5 of my favorite romantic comedies.  I mean, it has a super smart heroine, a hilariously dysfunctional pirate crew, a number of botched romantic opportunities, a curiously elegant and eloquent Caribbean privateer, and a wild goose chase involving a shipment of sex toys.

Yeah.  It's great.

The Bad
No real complaints.

I liked the way the novel flowed.  It was an effortless glide from one awkward moment to the next crazy adventure; however, I found the coincidences to be a little too convenient.  But I was will to suspend disbelief given I was reading about a modern-day pirate crew in search of a shipment of diamonds that might or might not exist.

The Ugly
Out of everything, I thought the shipment of sex toys was perhaps the weirdest part.  I mean, sure, you've got the dressing up as prostitutes and the dapper, Oxford educated privateer and the Cordon Bleu caliber cook who may/may not be gay, but it was the sex toys that I found weird.  It just kind of put it over the edge for me.

Bonus: Cinnamon and Gunpowder

Farrar, Straus, and Giroux

Cinnamon and Gunpowder

Eli Brown

2013

The Summary

"In Cinnamon and Gunpowder, the prizewinning author Eli Brown serves up the audacious tale of a fiery pirate captain, her reluctant chef, and their adventures aboard a battered vessel, the Flying Rose.  As these unlikely shipmates traverse the oceans, intrigue, betrayal, and bloodshed churn the waters.

"The year is 1819, and Owen Wedgwood, famed as the Caesar of Sauces, has been kidnapped by the ruthless captain Mad Hannah Mabbot.  After using her jade-handled pistols on his employer, lord of the booming tea trade, Mabbot announces to the terrified cook that he will be spared only as long as he puts an exquisite meal in front of her every Sunday without fail.

"To appease the red-haired tyrant, Wedgwood works wonders with the meager supplies he finds on board, including weevil-infested cornmeal and salted meat he suspects was once a horse.  His first triumph is that rarest of luxuries on a pirate ship:  real bread, made from a sourdough starter that he keeps safe in a tin under his shirt.  Soon he's making tea-smoked eel and brewing pineapple-banana cider.

"Even as she holds him hostage, Mabbot exerts a curious draw on the chef; he senses a softness behind the swagger and the roar.  Stalked by a deadly privateer, plagued by a hidden saboteur, and outnumbered in epic clashes with England's greatest ships of the line, Captain Mabbot pushes her crew past exhaustion in her hunt for the notorious King of Thieves.  As Wedgwood begins to understand the method to Mabbot's madness, he must rely on the bizarre crew members he once feared:  Mr. Apples, the fearsome giant who loves to knit; Feng and Bai, martial arts masters sworn to defend their captain; and Joshua, the strangely mute cabin boy.

"A giddy, archaic tale of love and appetite, Cinnamon and Gunpowder is a wildly original feat of the imagination, deep and startling as the sea itself."

The Good
Cinnamon and Gunpowder is a strangely compelling novel, yet I'm still not sure what to make of it.  It's a long, winding odyssey that takes our narrator to the edges of the empire and nearly drags him to the depths of the sea.  Like Odysseus, Owen Wedgwood's journey leads him across oceans and into the dens of monsters--and you can think of Mabbot as Calypso.

Alluring and wild, Mabbot is as dangerous and capricious as the sea.  She's just as liable to like you as shoot you, and yet she has a strange moral compass that leads her to punish slavers, opium peddlers, murderers and anyone who crosses her.  She is, as Wedgwood accuses, a red-haired tyrant, but she's not unduly cruel.  She's a strange amalgamation of opposites, which makes her oddly likable.

Like Wedgwood, I didn't know what to make of her.  I mean, is she a villain or is she a hero?  Neither, I suppose.  She's just a woman who has been tempered by the sea and shaped by the unkindness she's endured.  She's human and she's desperately flawed, which makes her compelling--and a bit hard to stomach.

Altogether, Cinnamon and Gunpowder is an intriguing if unusual novel.  It's an adventure story, but it's quite unlike what I've read in the past, especially regarding pirates.  Sure, I had a taste with Pirates! by Celia Rees, as well as the Wave Walkers series by Kai Meyer and Vampirates by Justin Somper.  But those are so mild in comparison to Eli Brown's novel, which is weighed down by tragedy and riddled with the cruel truths of reality.

Cinnamon and Gunpowder belongs in a class of its own, truly.

The Bad
This is not a novel to go into with the expectation of identifying a hero.  Like Wedgwood, we discover that humanity is deeply flawed--that we cannot look upon the world with only one version of right or wrong.  There is no black and white, merely the anticipation of survival.

The Ugly
Death.  Destruction.  Carnage.

(You get the idea.)

Piracy is an occupation that's neither gentle nor gentlemanly.  It can be cruel and completely tragic.

Besides which, I can't say I was enchanted with Wedgwood's unusual concoctions.  The pineapple-banana cider sounds pretty delicious, but I can't say the cooked eel, among other things, sounded particularly appetizing.

Pirates!

Image courtesy of
www.booksamilion.com

Pirates!
Celia Rees
2003

The Summary
For much of her life, Nancy Kington, the only daughter of a wealthy plantation owner, has been subjected to the whims of society and her brothers.  Now, forced forsake the love of her life and marry Captain Bartholome, a cruel and tyrannical man, Nancy decides to take life into her own hands.

Along with Minerva Sharpe, a former slave on the Kington plantation, Nancy and her dear friend flee aboard the pirate ship Deliverance and find a home among a band of cutthroats and thieves - and discover a vocation to which they are both perfectly suited.

But neither Nancy nor Minerva are safe.  Captain Bartholome has vowed to follow them, no matter the cost.

The Good
Celia Rees' novel is exceptionally well-written and finely detailed.  It's filled with adventure and intrigue and suspense, and it's thrilling to read.  It has just enough action, just enough drama and suspense to keep you riveted to the pages.

Besides which, Nancy Kington provides an interesting heroine for Pirates!  Far from being a damsel in distress, or a helpless maiden manipulated and contorted by her brothers's wishes and societal mores, she fights back and demands guidance for her own life.  Like her dear friend Minerva, Nancy isn't afraid to retaliate, and she certainly isn't afraid to speak her mind.

They are a particularly inspiring duo, I think.

The Bad
On certain occasions, Pirates! has several chapters prolonged by action and adventure and exciting new encounters, but the conclusion seems startlingly abrupt.  After all the anticipation and suspense, it seems to end far too quickly - and it wasn't quite what I expected.

Not to say it wasn't a phenomenal ending.  In fact, I found the conclusion particularly satisfying, but it wasn't quite what I anticipated.

The Ugly
The central character of Pirates! is, in fact, a pirate and surrounded by pirates.  By definition, pirates are expected to commit crimes, steal gold, drink rum, swear and curse, and carry out other varying acts of villainy and depravity.

It's just what they do.

So, don't be surprised by what you might read.